Day 7 A Song That Reminds You of a Certain Event

So today's song was really difficult to decide on. I don't really have a song that reminds me of any event! I decided finally to go with The Way You Look Tonight sung by Michael Buble. I have known this song for as long as I can remember. It was in Father of the Bride. My dad of course loved the movies so I grew up with them. And thus I grew up loving this song. Every time we hear it my dad always says that when I get married he and I will have our father daughter dance to this song. I guess it reminds me of my wedding, an event that hasn't happened yet and is quite far off in the future haha! So here it is! Enjoy and I'll see you guys tomorrow!!

Day 6 A Song that Reminds you of Somewhere

I chose Airplanes by B.o.B. feat Haley Williams for today. This song came out right before summer started last year. I definitely associate this song with Provo in the summer. I definitely had one of the BEST summers ever, despite a ton of drama and people being stupid I still had a great time. I got to go back to school and for the first time ever I actually did pretty dang good.
On an unrelated note, what is it with all of the girls who are absolute JERKS, who play games and treat people like CRAP getting married? I don't understand. I don't necessarily want to get married right now, I'm enjoying the whole having my own life thing, but I would however just like to have a boyfriend. I can't even get a date and this girl who totally uses people and thinks only of herself is getting MARRIED. I mean, she started dating a friend of mine and then texted him saying she couldn't date him because he was a fat slob. He's not even fat nor is he a slob! I kinda sorta want to punch her in the face...and she's getting married. I'm so sick of this.
Anyway, sorry back to the song thing...Good song, reminds me of Provo in the summer. Enjoy and I'll see ya'll tomorrow.

Day 5 A Song That Reminds Me of Someone

So the song I picked for today is Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Who doesn't kinda love this song? It's seriously a classic. It reminds me of my best childhood friend, Virginia. We would pretend we were sisters all the time and we cried when we had to say goodbye. I remember we had plans to go to Australia after I went to a great ballet school in Paris and she finished her education in Australia. I think it goes without saying that we didn't exactly get the chance to do that, we were kinda about 7 or 8 when we made those plans. Anyway, we kinda grew apart as we got older since we lived so far away from each other, I still considered her to be my best friend though. After high school she developed cancer and passed away in September of 2007. I still miss her. I remember this song from when we were little girls listening to it while riding in her mom's car. One of my most vivid memories was sitting in a dollar store parking lot playing tic tack toe on her jeans and listening to this song on a sunny summer day. I will forever associate her with this song as well as Who Knew by Pink but that's a song I associate more with her death. So I decided to go with the song I associate with her life. Her life and her death have played such a big part in who I am today. She had so much to do with me deciding to go on a mission. Like I said I miss her she was a wonderful person. So enjoy, have a great day and I'll see you tomorrow!

Day Four A Song That Makes Me Sad

I love He is We and I love their song- blame it on the rain. This song is beautiful and the reason it makes me sad is because I feel like it's the story of my life. It's really an amazing song. It's simple yet expressive.
I'm kinda glad that I get to do a song that makes me sad today because I just feel like it fits my frame of mind so well. Have a great day and enjoy the song! See you tomorrow!

Day 3 A Song That Makes Me Happy

I love this song, I love Sara Bareilles I think she is a great artist! Enjoy and I'll see all ya'll tomorrow!

Day 2 My Least Favorite Song

I hate hate hate this song. I feel like she sounds like a dying animal when she sings this. I still cringe when it comes on the radio. ENJOY! See ya'll tomorrow.

Day One-My Favorite Song

I'm going to try and do the 30 day song challenge! It's super hard to pick out my favorite song but right now it's gotta be Someone Like You by Adelle. I love this song, I love her voice, and I can't get enough of it! Enjoy!

Haunted Secrets

Every once in a while I'll be somewhere and something will remind me of my mission and all of a sudden I'll be back in Florida on the University campus riding my bike in the rain. It's like I'm really back there. Or I'm in a car on the way to visit a ward member. It's enough to knock me out for the rest of the day. I literally almost can't function. It's like my mission and the fact I went home early because I was sick is haunting me. I know everyone says that I've doing quite a bit of missionary work since my mission, but nothing can get the nagging thought that I was kinda cheated out of the rest of my mission out of the back of my head.
It's mission reunion season and I probably won't get to go to mine this time which I'm kinda sad about but I keep reminding me that I'm always depressed when I get back from the reunions. I don't know as many people as everyone else and I don't feel like I belong. No one cares if I'm there. No one's excited to see me there. It's not much of a reunion for me. That's devastating. I know I shouldn't care, but I do. Anyway, this is just what's on my mind. I went to a friend's homecoming today and then a kid from my home ward is leaving on a mission and between the two I just felt tortured by the "what if". I know I would be a different person right now if I had, but not a better different person. That's honestly what keeps me going.

What can you do when your good isn't good enough

Secret Thoughts

Venting Secretly

honestly? I don't feel like I can talk to anyone. I had a friend this week ask why it is that they feel like they are taking care of everyone else but I take care of them. I guess it's because that's who I am. I take care of people. I know that people try to return the favor and try to be there for me when I need them and they are a lot of the time but...I just don't feel like I can really talk to anyone. I try but I just end up feeling bad.

I'm going home and I'm scared. I don't get along with my dad...and I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I get there. I don't even feel safe here and I'm hundreds of miles away from home it's scary to go back into the center of it all. I don't know why I'm going home, it won't make a huge difference than if I stay here, but I feel like there's really not much keeping me here. I am so confused about so many things and I just can't do it anymore. I feel like it's going to be better for me to go home and be isolated like I am every time I go back and just not be around people. I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I know it's stupid and if anyone here knew I felt this way they'd probably be mad at me, but I just don't feel like anyone really cares. I know they do, but the feeling is there nagging in the back of my head. And that's ok, I really don't expect anyone to give a crap because there's more to life and I need to just get over myself.

But I can't help but feel alone. I've messed so many things up and been really stupid so really I've brought it on myself in a way. I still have my friends but maybe it's my fault that I can't really and I mean REALLY talk to them.

Ugh I feel like this is so whiny of me. I don't mean to come across like I'm complaining, I mean I guess that's in essence what I'm doing, I just need an outlet. And for some stupid reason this felt like the best way to get this off my chest.

Secrets

So...if I'm wrong I'm going to feel like an idiot.
I stumbled across a blog entry and at first I was like...wait are they talking about me? And then I read on and somethings didn't match up but some were dead on to what had happened... so I'm not sure if I was the one being talked to or not...
So...if you read this (and you'll know who you are if you do) and you were talking to me...somehow let me know in another post. I'll be watching for it.

...my roommate just petted me with her foot...

I know that not everything in the world is about me, and it's been so long there's a good chance I'm completely off my rocker but I just can't shed the feeling that I need to at least put this out there in case what I think is correct.

Girl Rule #1 Dibs

Rule #1 Dibs

Girls, this is ridiculous. This should be a rule that goes simply without saying. Here's the scenario: Your roommate and you are hanging out at a party and you meet a few guys. You get home and your friend/roommate expresses interest in one of the guys you hung out with, you also thought that he was pretty cute and you kinda liked him too. Do you
a) Forget her! Go for the guy! May the best girl win!
b) Flirt with him a little when she's not around, perhaps try to get his number without her knowing and start getting to know him so you have a leg up.
c) She expressed interest first and he kinda seemed to like her back so you back off and support her in her pursuit of the guy.

Girls, I hope this is an easy answer for you. C!!! I'm sad to say I've been in a situation like this and I've had many a "friend" just cut me off at the pass or go behind my back to get a leg up on the competition. It always ends the same way! Spoiler alert, the other girl never got the guy and neither did I. No one won there! If this girl is your friend, respect her enough not to swoop in and try to cut her off at the pass. It is NOT every girl for herself out there! We should have each other's backs! We should help each other! I know it's cheesy but why can't we all be a little more "all for one and one for all"? Is that so bad?

The Beginning of Girl Code

So I have a group of friends that I really enjoy hanging out with. I've come to notice that this group is comprised of my roommate and I and our four guy friends. So as our group is mostly guys we end up talking about a lot of guy stuff.

Recently we've been talking a lot about relationships and "guy code". As I begin to think about all of this, I wonder why is it that girls don't have a similar code? I mean, think of all the problems it could help us avoid! I feel like girls are of the attitude "every girl for herself" but why can't we be a bit more civil? I mean I feel like girls are so catty with each other. Why can't we all look out for each other instead of competing and being rude and stabbing each other in the back?

My roommate is appalled at the idea of "dibs" but it makes sense to me! I mean our guy friends explained to us that when a new girl walks into the apartment and one of the guys has interest in her there is kind of an unspoken "dibs" called so that no other guy in the apartment will go after said girl. I feel like that is very gentlemanly! It shows respect for the other guys in the apartment. Why can't girls show the same respect?

A girl can even tell another girl that she likes a guy and if the friend decides she has a thing for the same guy there's no code of conduct or "girl code" that keeps the friend from going after the guy. I feel like this is MUCH too widely accepted!

(ok honestly I might be a bit bitter here as this actually happened to me. I told my friend I had a thing for a guy and not five minutes later she comes to me, freaking out because he just asked her on a date and now she think she likes him)

So, I'm going to attempt to come up with a few rules I think girls should live by. An actual written "girl code" if you will. So help me out! If anyone has any suggestions PLEASE let me know! I'd like to make this a collaborative effort and come up with a comprehensive list of rules I think girls should live by.

I mean honestly, apparently we aren't as far as guys are since a: we don't have any kind of code and b: I feel this situation is to the point that an actual code should be written! Whereas guy code doesn't need to be, it's just mutually understood. Granted I'm sure there are variations on such understanding from guy to guy but it still exists for them! Why not for us too?

So! Hopefully I'll be able to post my first girl code rule this week! So keep an eye out and wish me luck!