Secret Strength

I wish life were easier. I am so sick and tired of getting an answer only to feel like it has changed only to discover that no, I had the correct answer all along!
I've been looking at staying in Provo again because my dad said something about staying there since I have been hitting walls everywhere I turn with trying to move to Idaho. So I've been praying about it and thinking about it and trying to figure everything out. I mean I hate how people relate our own experiences to the scripture stories because I can never tell which story I'm living out that particular day! Like am I Abraham and Utah is my Isaac and I'm being asked to sacrifice it but at the last moment the Lord says no I just wanted to make sure you'd do what I asked you to. Or is it a Nephi trying to get the gold plates story where I've tried it my way but I'm simply not trying hard enough? I just can NEVER tell!
I think I've finally figured it out. I haven't been able to sell my housing contract in Provo. I haven't had the money to put it on the list at the complex to sell and honestly I think subconsciously or consciously I've been dragging my feet to sell it because I've been thinking in my head "Ok Lord, I'll go to Idaho but if I can't sell my housing contract I simply can't go" which is so OBVIOUSLY the wrong attitude to have about all of this. So I'm changing that NOW. I'm going to Idaho because I've had the answer multiple times and I just plain KNOW it is where I am supposed to be. Black and white no questions asked. So! If I can't sell my housing contract I will be getting a job to pay my rent in Provo while I go to school in Idaho.
My dad is really getting on my last nerve though. He's always questioned my answers and he always thinks that if I'm not doing things the way he thinks I should be doing them, that I'm not following the Lord's will. That drives me up the wall. So he thinks that because tonight when he asked me if I had made a decision about Idaho I told him that I was still praying about it, I hadn't received an answer yet and that it really wasn't up to me, that I'm not listening to him. That I'm doing the wrong thing yet again.
I'm done. I know what I need to do. I know there are so many people in this world who don't believe in answers from Heavenly Father, who think I just make it up.

But let me set the record straight.

If I did not know for absolute one hundred percent sure that this was what the Lord wanted me to do, I would NOT be doing it. I love Provo. I love my friends there. I am so happy in Utah. It breaks my heart to leave. But I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord answered my prayer.

I KNOW that I need to go to Idaho. That that is where the Lord has called me. And I will go because that is where I have been called. It may be hard. It may be nigh on impossible to accomplish. But I will go because I know it is where I need to be. I KNOW what I have felt. And I KNOW I have felt the peace that comes from receiving an answer from my Heavenly Father. And I KNOW that answer is to go to school and to go to school in Idaho. I KNOW the Lord hears and answers prayers. I KNOW IT.

So. It is up to you to decide but for me it is simple. I go where I am called. I receive answers to my prayers and I act on those answers.

Anyway I hope you are all having a great holiday and I'll try to write again before Christmas...hopefully something a little less passionate next time. Maybe I'll even have some good news about some successes! Wish me luck!